This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the overnight shift of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. Sign up here. After Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi died in a helicopter crash over the weekend, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei declared five days of public mourning and offered his condolences. “Our honorable Raisi worked tirelessly,” he wrote on X. Conveniently left out of the supreme leader’s epitaph for his protégé was, of course, what the president accomplished. If he were being honest, the tweet would have read: “Our deeply unloved Raisi worked tirelessly to impose a crackdown on female dress codes and carry out mass executions of regime opponents.” I tweaked the honorable part because, c’mon, there’s no honor in butchering your people. Raisi’s policies were nothing short of disastrous, Marc Champion writes (free read). Upon hearing of the president’s demise, fireworks erupted above the streets of Tehran and victims of his regime were seen dancing in celebration. “One of Raisi’s earliest decisions was to order a crackdown, ostensibly to ensure female modesty and chastity,” Marc explains. The push backfired dramatically, leading to the death of 22-year-old Mahsa Jina Amini, an ethnic Kurd who was arrested for improperly donning her hijab. The regime’s response to the protests in the aftermath of her passing — which were the largest in the history of the Islamic Republic — was brutal, resulting in the death of hundreds more. Despite the threat that resistance posed to his tenure, Raisi “seemed unfazed by the turmoil he had caused with his crackdown on women,” Marc writes. Days before his death, he told an Iranian TV network, “the enemy is pursuing the agenda of undermining modesty.” Now, Iran’s real enemy appears to be time. A snap election, which Marc says will “have no value as an exercise in popular choice,” will be held within 50 days. “Raisi’s death has opened new possibilities on succession to the only job that really matters, that of supreme leader,” he writes. Read the whole thing. The Kids Are Getting Shafted |
Time for a depressing pop quiz. Which of the following scenarios are illegal? An Arkansas teen gets hired at a poultry farm to remove the organs of recently-slaughtered turkeys without having to verify their age. A 14-year-old in Iowa has a side gig as a roofer, even though federal law considers the job to be too hazardous for anyone younger than 18. A 16-year-old in Florida works at a gas station from 11 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. with parental permission even though they have school the next day.
Oops, that was a trick question: All three of these are totally legal scenarios, thanks to a spate of new laws that roll back safety rules and regulations for workers under age 18. But — *clutches pearls* — this is the United States we’re talking about! We value our young people! We’d never put them in harm’s way! And yet: “Legislators somehow think that kids who are too young to understand their bodies are old enough to operate forklifts, pole saws, dough mixers, hoists, compactors and other power-driven machines — or work the overnight shift,” Mary Ellen Klas writes. Never mind that your daughter is still planning her Sweet 16, she’s got turkey giblets to remove!! It’s not surprising to see child labor violations skyrocket as a result. “The abuses are chilling,” Mary Ellen notes. “A network of California poultry processors was fined for employing children as young as 14 to debone poultry using sharp knives. A Wisconsin-based company was fined $1.5 million for illegally putting 102 children to work in dangerous jobs at 13 meatpacking facilities in eight different states. And an Alabama roofing company was fined for hiring a 15-year-old who fell to his death the first day on the job.”  And that’s not even the end of it. This nation’s penchant for child exploitation knows no bounds. Look no further than the $30 billion industry dedicated to youth sports. To capitalize on the Gen Z amateurs, Perfect Game recently announced a deal to display its adolescent customers on trading cards. “It’s a terrible idea that’s raising concerns,” Adam Minter argues. “Youth ballplayers are minors who should be prioritizing fun and school work — not worrying about who thinks their likenesses are valuable enough to buy and trade.” But the adults in the room don’t seem to agree. Adam says many “parents don’t flinch when the company asks for waivers that grant it the right to use a young athlete’s name, image and likeness without compensation. That includes for use in new product lines, such as trading cards.” And whose coffers do you think those profits are lining? Not the kids’, that’s for sure! As someone who would willingly eat an iceberg wedge with blue cheese dressing every day for the rest of her life, I was sad to read that consumption of iceberg — the so-called GOAT of lettuces — has fallen behind romaine. Justin Fox says per-capita retail availability of head lettuce has reached a new low of 9.6 pounds in 2022. “That’s 2.2 pounds and 19% below the figure for romaine and leaf lettuce,” he writes. The culprit? “It’s not some fashionable new green you’ve never heard of. It’s cabbage,” Justin writes. Consider those pre-packaged salad kits that always sell out at the grocery store. Whether it’s “Southwest Chili” or “Green Goddess Ranch” or “Sesame Crunch,” there’s always cabbage. Tim McAfee, a farmer in the US lettuce heartland of Monterey County, California, told Justin, “I bet 20 to 30% of the head-lettuce market has turned into cabbage.” Not even the University of Minnesota’s Lettuce Club — and their annual iceberg-eating competition — can reverse this trend: We talk a lot about meme stocks around here, but have you taken a look at the copper market? It gives Roaring Kitty a run for his money. But unlike GameStop, Javier Blas says there are some fundamental reasons why the metal is a Wall Street darling. “In the climate-change era, copper is the new oil — a critical mineral essential to rewire our energy system with renewable power,” he writes. “As with every financial narrative, the story of the boom has a grain of truth — and ample hogwash.”  In case you needed another reason to hate budget airlines, here’s a chart from Thomas Black that shows how Spirit and Frontier are playing mind games with passengers on the daily. Thomas — never one to skimp on his due diligence — recently flew on Spirit and Frontier for a business excursion from Dallas to Chicago. The total cost was less than $90, but it did involve him stuffing two days-worth of clothes into his laptop bag. “Between the fuel burn, crew salaries and other costs involved in operating a flight, the airlines had to lose money on me,” he writes. But that end result is an anomaly. More often than not, the extra fees and fares come back to bite passengers. Free read: In the upside-down American flag saga, Justice Alito made a major mistake. — Stephen L. Carter China and India are holding back coal’s decline. — Bloomberg’s editorial board Ultimate endless shrimp, this is what corporate finance is all about. — Matt Levine Elon Musk is losing autonomy in Tesla’s robotaxi race. — Liam Denning Voters trust Republicans to curb crime. California Democrats want to change that. — Erika D. Smith Ron DeSantis is forcing Florida to forget about climate change. — Mark Gongloff With international students, billions of dollars are up for grabs. — Matthew Brooker Biden can’t pay his way out of fighting Cold War II. — Niall Ferguson Penguin Random House dismissed two top publishers. The man who fixed Netflix’s password-sharing problem. California is paying meth users to get sober. It doesn’t seem like Trump is gonna testify. Bathwater girl finally got her bag from PayPal. A bright green fireball lit up Portugal and Spain. Drain the Miami restaurant swamp? Whole-body deodorants are everywhere. And so are cockroaches. Location services are a curse. Kevin Costner’s still got that dog in him. Notes: Please send fully loaded iceberg wedges and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. Sign up here and follow us on Threads, X, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. | 
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